Coming....or going Home?

So it's true. We have made the decision to come back home to stay. But we will still be going home July 27th, probably for a few months while we settle our affairs. It feels strange...sad that we will be leaving home, and yet excited about returning home, at the same time. Can one have two homes?

Since May, we've been wrestling with the idea of staying in Nicaragua. Not with an organization, but simply living here, and working here. Like other Nicaraguans.

I know, it seems crazy. At first I thought, Is it possible? Sure, we've heard stories. Seems like everybody knows some chele (gringo, or white-skinned person) who came here to live. I just never thought we would be one of them.

Do we have all the details worked out? No, not really. But God does. So we are trusting in Him, to lead us. And we are staying on our knees, asking God to show us clearly our next step.

Is it scary? You bet. I woke up at 3:30 this morning and gasped, Are we really, truly going to do this? Come back and try to make it on our own here? I asked God to show me the right path, His will for us. In response, He filled me with a peace, a heavenly peace such as only He can give.

I know we will be tested. Every fiber of my being screams against the insanity of it all, the not knowing, the too few details, the health of my kids, the pressure of making it financially. But if I listen closely, I can hear the soft, gentle whispers of God, asking me to take His hand, and to trust in HIM. Not in humans, or my own mind, but only HIM.

Do I really trust Him? Do I really believe that He loves me and brings all things to His good purpose? It's easy to say yes, when you have a good job, the cupboards are full of food, and you have access to good medical care. When your life is so completely under control, there is nothing left to entrust into the hands of Him who created us.

But to say YES! when you don't know where your next meal is going to come from, when your friends have turned their backs on you, when the health care is poor and you haven't heard God speak in months...that is faith. That is trust.

Did you see the movie Facing the Giants? Excellent movie.

In the movie, a man is struggling with his life circumstances, and not seeing God at work in his life. Another man comes to encourage him, and tells him a story.

There were 2 farmers who had fields, and both desperately needed rain. So they both prayed for rain, but only one went out and prepared his fields for it. Which one had faith? Which one are you?

We are asking God to have the faith to go out and prepare our fields for rain.