Sunday, February 13

Love Letter

Dear hubby,

Hard to believe today is 11 Valentine's Days together. I still remember it, us so young, holding hands. Sitting across from you in a booth, munching on hamburgers and feeling giddy that I was going to be married in 5 short months.

I never would have believed it if someone had told me that over the next 11 years, I would

experience the pain of loss, of holding my baby as she takes her last breaths

feel so alone while laying next to you

cry myself to sleep because of your words and actions

have 10 surgeries in 5 years and feel so physically exhausted

go overseas and think of it as one of the most lonely and difficult times of our marriage

wish I have never been married

stumble my way through grief so heavy, I didn't know how to be a wife and mother

and then I remember how God awakened you, your heart, your passions, your love,
and I remember how

you held my hands in yours, looked me in the eye and asked for my forgiveness

you promised to stand by me, no matter what happens or how long it takes

often you tell me I am beautiful, and my heart melts

I long for you to return home just so we can talk about our day, our dreams, our future together

your love slowly awakens my own again

with tears in your eyes, you told me you love me and that you have never regretted being married to me....

and neither do I.

Yes, there has been disappointment, anger, and deep piercing pain. But I love you. I always have and always will, through all the valleys, fears, dark nights and daunting mountainsides. God is leading us on a grand adventure, and as I take your hand, and we both try to understand what unconditional love is really about, may the next 11 years be better than the first.

I dedicate this song to you, for all you have taught me and sacrificed for me. Let's go dancing in the minefields.


Well I was 19 you were 21
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much to young
But we did it anyway
We got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
We said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago

Chorus:
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for

Well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found

Chorus:
And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
That’s what the promise is for

Bridge:
So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me

Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos baby
I can dance with you

Chorus:
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
That’s what the promise is for




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful words Colleen! I admire your honesty and wish you many more years of redemptive love. Joshua