Wednesday, October 5

the comparison trap

As women, it's hard not to compare our lives, ourselves to others.  We compare our shoes, fashion wardrobes, jobs and/or career choices, our boyfriends or husbands (or if we're single, how much better our life would be if we had a man).

But then it gets worse; we have children.

Our competitive edge and comparison notes skyrocket, and it starts before our babies are even born.

We talk about how much weight our friends' gain but then off-handedly remark that we only gained 5 pounds (and had a 20 pound baby!).  We mentioned how small everybody else looks, but of course, we are HUGE.  (how does that work?)

We can't help but smirk when we hear somebody had an epidural at only 5 cm, but boast of having back labor for 3 days with no pain meds, scrapbooking through the contractions and even managed to do our nails while pushing.

and then, of course, there is the competition about who had the largest baby, who sleeps through the night first, how long you nurse, how quickly you fit back into your clothing (for some of us, the answer is NEVER), whose baby rolls over, sits up, eats food, walks and talks first....and it goes on and on.

What happened to sisterhood?  What happened to supporting each other through all these stages, when we are feeling the most insecure and wonder if we're being the best woman/mom that we can be?

Ladies, we need to wake up.

Life is hard enough without adding to each other's stress.  Instead of being a source of strain, why not share each other's burdens?

Competition isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't belong between women, between sisters in Christ.  When we are struggling with our weight, wondering if a man will ever fall in love with us, hoping to find a job that we actually like, fighting to balance family, marriage, time with God and time for ourselves, snide comments and subtle barbs are not what we need.

Let's lower our shields and allow ourselves the freedom to be "just ourselves"....it's okay that we're not perfect because guess what?  NOBODY IS.

Don't fall for the lie that you are the only one that doubts, or has insecurities.  We need to talk about our fears, our struggles, our hopes and dreams.  I doubt there isn't a single mom out there who hasn't wondered, at least once, if she is doing a good job.  Or a single woman that fears always being single.

My next post will talk about loving ourselves for who we are.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow! Amen sister! I absolutely love what you have said here! I would say this is wisdom straight from God! .........but how do I find other women like-minded? I am going to try to follow your blog for a while to see if some of your wisdom will rub off. Thanks for the encouragement! Jocelyn