Blessings

I've been wrestling with that age old question, Why does God allow bad things to happen?  Why am I having to struggle now because of others' actions towards me?  I thought I had laid it to rest, after some serious struggles when my daughter died. I threw every question and shot at God that I could think of, and then some.

 And you know what?

He wasn't afraid to take it...or to answer my questions.

I don't have these great words of wisdom, but there was an answer that settled in my heart.

He is God. I am not.

Like Isaiah asks, Who can know the mind of God? We cannot put Him in a box, or surround Him with our own small rules and limitations. He is completely outside of any and all boundaries that we have.

And I also realized that there really is no good answer to suffering. For example, I started to realize that while I asked God for months, Why my daughter? Why? WHY? WHY?, what if He actually gave me a reason. Would there be a reason that I could accept? That would make sense out of the madness? What if God wants to teach me patience? Or so that others would come to know Him? I doubt I would have felt better. I still wanted my daughter.

It was then that I realized there really is no "good enough" reason for suffering.

I've really enjoyed the song "Blessings" by Laura Story.
So this song puts into words some of the lessons I have slowly been learning, and will continue to learn, I'm sure, for the rest of my life.

The lyrics are:
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise